It's a boy!

I have never been so happy in my life to be proven wrong! WE GOT OUR REFERRAL TODAY! We are still reeling from the news (in the best possible way) and trying to wrap our minds around this beautiful little boy that is our SON! We have a healthy one year old boy waiting for us in Ethiopia! More details to come...

PS- Who else is laughing at the post I wrote earlier today?

-kate-

Nine months and an update

Nine months. It brings tears to my eyes to even have to write that we've been waiting this long. And unfortunately, there is no end in sight. There are several reasons for the slow down and I will attempt to explain why in as few words as possible. The biggest factor, at least in our understanding, is that the Ethiopian court system is investigating all current cases where the child was abandoned. While the investigation is going on, no families with a referral for an abandoned child are passing court. Our agency has told us that approximately 25% of the children they work with were abandoned. Our agency doesn't just match up a child with the next family in line. They are prayerful about their matches and are now in a very difficult situation. We don't know this for a fact, but I have a feeling that part of the hold up is that the next few families in line for referrals were perhaps abandonment cases and the agency is trying to figure out what to do with these kids and the families. Wait it out? No one knows how long this investigation is going to last. Match a child with a different family? I do not envy the people working on our behalf in Ethiopia right now. They are faced with a difficult situation. I am so thankful that the Ethiopian courts are doing all they can to get rid of corruption in their adoption process, but it's hard to be on the other side of it just waiting.

Our agency has also had other issues the last few weeks that have made it impossible for families to pass court it seems. One judge will accept a particular paper this way, another judge won't. One judge allows something to be done one way and another says no. It's hard to keep up with! Again, I don't envy our agency's staff and all they have to deal with.

So what does all of this mean for us? We don't know. We just know we don't have our referral yet. The other piece of this that I haven't mentioned yet is that the Ethiopian courts will close entirely for the months of August and September. Referrals will still be given out, but we will obviously not have a court date during that time. That means that unless we get a referral in the next week or so (which is highly unlikely!), we will not be able to have a court date til October. We wouldn't travel until November then. Ugh. I hate even writing that out. Now I find myself hoping that we don't get our referral for a few more months. It's one thing to be longing for and hoping for our baby and wishing he were with us. It's another thing entirely to have a face and a name and to know details about him and to know all the things we're missing out on. My heart hurts just thinking about it. I think longing for the unknown will be easier then missing the known.

And we're sad, disappointed, frustrated. When we submitted our paperwork nine months ago we never in a million years thought that the court closures would delay us. We thought we'd be home and worrying about attachment issues and sleep deprivation. But we're not. This is the reality of where we are and I'm slowly accepting it. I don't like it and it makes me unbelievably sad, but being sad doesn't negate my trust in God. I still believe that His timing is perfect and that He is working all of this out in the way only He can. But right now in the midst of it, I feel a heaviness like none I've ever known. Knowing our baby is out there and waiting for us but we can't get to him because of bureaucracy is...painful. Not having any answers as to when all of this might change is frustrating. But this is international adoption and we knew there would be bumps on the road. We knew that delays, and court closures, and vacillating judges were all part of the equation. Perhaps we were just too naive to believe they would effect us.

Nine months. It's been a pretty easy ride for the most part. Maybe all that peace we've had for the last eight months was to prepare us for the lack of peace we feel now. So we might not have any answers to the questions that swirl around in our minds, but we know a few things. God is always good. He's always working things out for our good. He has a plan and a purpose for us and for our family. And He's always good.

Always.

-kate-

Another month gone by...

April came and went with no referral for our family. We were so hopeful at the end of March because there had been so many referrals; we thought for sure April was our month. It wasn't. And on Wednesday, what marked our eighth month of waiting I was not okay with this. I was frustrated and upset and getting way ahead of myself by making trouble out of situations that don't even exist. Thankfully, we've been out of town and haven't had much internet access. If we had, the post I would have written on Wednesday wouldn't have been a good one.

But today is Saturday and I'm feeling hopeful that this waiting will soon come to end. I'm hopeful that this longing for my baby will soon me matched to a face.

So will May be our month? Only the Lord knows, but tonight I'm hopeful because I know it's in His hands.